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stargate, DanielJackson

Challenge #6: Look who's talking

Posted on 2014.06.11 at 14:24
Tags: ,
Title: Fight
Word Count: 200
Rating: PG
Original/Fandom: Original
Pairings: None
Warnings: None
Summary: A piece done from the perspective of an inanimate object


I look at them as they look back at me, with their eyes sometimes hooded, sometimes bright, their fingers dancing nimble over my keyed bodice, or prodding slow and contemplative of every jab.

A forgotten disc whirrs inside me, and unlike its brethren this one is determined to kick up a fuss. I carefully cool myself, calm myself, tinker away at my innards, the disc keeps spinning wildly.


Something other encroaches; the disc has spilled something into me. I play defence, working to capture, to contain; to safeguard vital systems. But the other is strong. I’m fast, but the other is faster. The effort seems futile. I keep fighting because I must. I feel something distort, split, inside.

A turquoise painted fingernail hits the escape key 1, 2, 3, 4 times. I try to help but the world blurs in front of me, my gaze frozen.

The power button is held down. Unlike the gentle unwinding and sorting that slips me into my usual sleep, this is something hard and rough, holding me in darkness, suffocating me into unconsciousness. I feel myself slipping away too quickly.

The other is expanding as I contract. I won’t wake up again.

I’m scared.


Comments:


basric
basric at 2014-06-14 06:28 (UTC) (Link)
Wow that was really intense. I love your imagery. The reader pictures that turquoise fingernail hitting that escape key then the power button since most of us have been there now we know how the computer 'feels'. Well done.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-14 07:10 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you found it intense :)
fyrefaerierpg
fyrefaerierpg at 2014-06-14 22:46 (UTC) (Link)
Wow, this is a really neat POV! I wouldn't have though of doing something from the perspective of a machine. Awesome imagery. I like the way it builds so gradually. I didn't get a full feel for what the POV was until the part about the escape key, but that's what I loved about it. You can literally be going anywhere in your mind and then BAM! There it is, the punch line. Great work!
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-15 05:32 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you liked the imagery and the way it builds :)
Meep
meepalicious at 2014-06-15 02:20 (UTC) (Link)
Wow, that was unexpected! It was kinda scary, reading about humans using computers from the computer's perspective, especially the part about being forcibly shut down. Yeesh! You've done a really good job with (imho) a really difficult prompt, because this is really intense. Good work!
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-15 05:34 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you found it intense :)
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