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stargate, DanielJackson

TVD Big Bang Fic; A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

Posted on 2011.10.05 at 23:04
Tags: ,
Chapter Five

Years pass and Klaus’ longing for Stefan doesn’t wane, it sits like an emptiness inside him. At times he plans to find the witch who made it impossible for him to compel Stefan, force them to undo what they’ve done. But he knows a compelled Stefan by his side would feel worse still. He buries himself for months at a time in a miring of destruction, more pointless than it ever was before. It’s only after a decade that he puts a stop to the ridiculousness.


He still watches Stefan at times; it’s a masochistic pleasure. It’s a thrill being near Stefan, seeing what he’s doing, spying his smiles and laughter; even though the sound forms claustrophobic pits in his chest. He sees Katherine watching Stefan, too, more than once. But even as he knows he has people out looking for her, he cannot bring himself to care, and doesn’t allow her to see his presence. Perhaps he feels a kinship with her; having the same pathetic desire--so above older vampires; and yet here they are. Maybe this is Stefan’s true darkness; as a siren luring every passing lover to lie on the rocks, forever broken.


***


2010


Stefan suspects when he sees Tyler’s aggression towards Jeremy on the night of the full moon. Stefan knows when Mason’s hand slips around his own to arm-wrestle.

“What are they?” Damon asks.

So Stefan answers him; throws werewolf out there, sandwiched between zombies and ninja turtles.


***


1956

Klaus leans against one of the many silver poles that stand pointlessly in the diner and watches as Stefan leaves his seat to play with the jukebox. Afterwards, however, Stefan doesn’t return to his seat, instead strolling in Klaus’s direction. He makes no move to acknowledge Stefan, and Stefan in turn stands beside him, both of them idly watching the other customers.

“Hey,” Stefan finally says quietly.

“I’m not in the mood for niceties,” Klaus curtly responds.

“Okay then, how about sex?”


***


Stefan unbuttons Klaus’s shirt as he’s backed towards the hotel bed. Stefan’s apartment isn’t that far but neither of them wanted to wait. Klaus is far gentler than he used to be, laying kisses reverentially--an unspoken ‘I missed you’ icing every one. Stefan is perplexingly both exhilarated and disturbed by it. Stefan, in turn, is much softer with Klaus, with the exception of the occasional nip of course.


When they’re done, he simply lies next to Klaus, instead of clinging to him like he used to. This has to be a new start. He counts time in his head, giving them both a few minutes, and then gets up and begins redressing.

Stefan doesn’t want to leave, but knows if he doesn’t they’ll end up in the same possessive circle of last time.

“I should be going. Maybe we could meet up sometime next week?” Stefan says, feeling awkwardly human.

“Don’t leave. You have to stay,” Klaus says and doesn’t notice how harshly it came out until he sees Stefan’s eyes darken into the blank stare he has grown to loathe.

He’s severely disturbed by how terrified the idea of going back to that time in their relationship makes him. He wants to tell Stefan that’s not how he meant it to sound, but that thought itself angers him to no end; he’s Klaus, master of vampires, he won’t insult his own standing with apologies.

“Don’t give me that look; don’t think for a minute you can play me, you don’t want to know what I’ll do if you try to string me along,” Klaus says angrily through gritted teeth.

Stefan gives him an incredulous look.

“Really? You’re your own worst enemy.”

“I’ve always shown you mercy, Stefan; don’t make the mistake of assuming I can’t be otherwise,” Klaus snarls, letting the crumbling cracks in his voice form vicious edges.

He knows he’s ruining this, probably his last chance, feels too angry and vulnerable and broken to stop himself. Stefan has a severe look on his face, and Klaus can practically feel Stefan shutting him out again. It feels like being lost. His insides seem to be strangling themselves. Then suddenly Stefan’s face slopes into a grin.

“You’re so silly,” Stefan says with a childlike inflection.

Klaus thinks he may have to kill him. He settles on asking a question instead.

“So are you staying?”

“No,” Stefan says, looping his arms around Klaus’s neck.

“Why not?” Klaus asks, struggling to keep the venom from his voice.

“I’m not going back to the way things were.”

“You liked the way things were.”

“That was before you kept me as your slave for three years.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I thought, after all this time, you might be willing to make a change.”

“I can’t,” Klaus tells him adamantly.

“I’m not asking you to change who you are, only try to do some things differently.”

“Fine, I’ll try,” Klaus begrudges, mulling over how long he will have to go along with it.

How long could he go along with it before Stefan chooses to leave instead of bothering with the effort of dealing with him? Everyone always leaves him; if anything his crime is holding onto them too tightly when they do.

“Hey, thinking too much is my gig--are you in?” Stefan interrupts his thoughts.

“You know how I hate repeating myself.”

“That wasn’t an agreement, it was a lie.”

“If I do this; you’ve got to do your part, too.”

“Sure, as long as my part doesn’t involve slaughtering a village.”

“You’re no fun. Okay I’m in.”

“Good, we’ll talk next week,” Stefan says, readying himself to leave.


***


As he’s walking down the stairs he hears Klaus say words so softly that, if he was twenty years younger, he would’ve missed: “I love you.”


***


“Firstly, no more throwing me against walls and beating me up, or carving me up, or anything of that variety.”

“I could find more appealing ways of expressing my anger,” Klaus husks sexily.

“Whatever works,” Stefan says with a snort. “Secondly, no more controlling when I come and go.”

“No.”

“Not even going to suggest a compromise?”

“I can’t have anyone coming and going from my places without my knowledge; it’s a security risk,” Klaus says. It’s a valid reason, even if it’s not the actual reason.

“Ok, then we can hang out at my place,” Stefan says.

“Your place is too small, and too ugly.”

“What do you think is going to happen if you leave me to come and go as I please?”

“That’s not what this is about.”

“You’re right; this is about your ridiculously possessive behaviour.”

“Don’t you think a partner should know where someone is; what if you got kidnapped?”

“Yeah, because that’s what you’re worried about. Okay, how about I tell you where I’m going when I go out, but you’re not allowed to say I can’t go, demand I be back at a certain time, or follow me when I do go,” Stefan says, rolling his eyes.

“And if I disagree?”

“Then maybe we shouldn’t live together.”

“This isn’t going to work if you want to go steady, and have me give you a promise ring. I don’t go on dates; too pedestrian.”

“Then maybe this isn’t going to work.”

“Okay, let’s go back to your idea of telling me when you’re going out. Can we at least discuss a time to come back by?”

“Sure, I’ll stick to a curfew if you will,” Stefan challenges.

“You’re hilarious,” Klaus states dryly.


***


2011

“So how come you didn’t tell lover boy you found the girl he had spent a millennium looking for,” Katherine asks, twisting the knife.

“I wanted to see how long it would take Klaus to find me,” Stefan says with a smirk.

“Stefan has a habit of being difficult,” Klaus growls, amber lighting his eyes.

Katherine knows she can use the whole Elena issue to twist the two of them against each other and around her little finger. She resolves to get herself plenty of time with both of them separately.


***


1956

Klaus hides his tentativeness behind wolfish grins. He allows Stefan more freedom than he would prefer because by now he knows too well that loyalty isn’t fostered through enforced servitude. He acts as if Stefan’s rules don’t matter, and he isn’t really trying, only indulging Stefan for his amusement. It’s easier than he thought it would be to stop throwing Stefan into walls, he merely directs his anger elsewhere; and there isn’t much anger left anymore anyway--for the time being he’s too busy with elation.


But when he finds the note Stefan left with the butler, letting Klaus know he is out and will be back late, that’s when Klaus discovers the difficult part. It feels so abrupt, and suddenly he wants Stefan’s company. Stefan is his. Klaus should know what he’s doing, and when he’s going to be back, and should be able to spend time with him when he wants to. Stefan’s supposed to be there so Klaus isn’t alone. He imagines Stefan laughing with someone else, dancing with someone else in that reluctantly exuberant way of his; enjoying himself with somebody else. Stefan should be doing those things with him.


His mind spirals darkly and he can’t focus on anything, instead he sits in the front parlour and waits for Stefan to return. The grandfather clock taunts him, and he punches its gears into fragments. Klaus feels it’s already unreasonably late, how late is ‘late’ anyway? He’s jittery, and as much as it isn’t his main issue he can’t help picturing Stefan staked or burnt alive, Stefan’s so young--anything could happen.
The moment Stefan walks in, Klaus pulls him into a frenzied kiss, reaffirming that Stefan’s there; occupying this space beside his own body.


***


“This is stupid, I’m not doing this anymore; you belong to me, you were ok with the way things were once, and you’ll get used to it again,” Klaus says as casually as he can muster.

“Hey,” Stefan says softly, intruding his personal space.

“What,” Klaus says, rolling his eyes.

Stefan cups Klaus’s face in his hands, Klaus lets him.

“Everyone’s afraid sometimes,” Stefan tells Klaus with careful sympathy.

“I’m not a child.”

“This is going to work. We are going to make it work,” Stefan declares.

And somehow they do.


***


“One room please,” Klaus says, grinning maniacally with his arm slung around--and body pressed up against--Stefan in a move that left little to the imagination. The man frowned at them sternly, but handed over the key.

Stefan turned to him and looked into his eyes; “Forget we were ever here.”

“Aw, I was looking forward to having the policemen for a snack.”

“We’re going to be much too busy for snacking,” Stefan says slyly, sending a smouldering look Klaus’s way.


***


2011

“I didn’t want you to break the curse, and unleash the apocalypse,” seems to be Stefan’s party line to Klaus on why he didn’t reveal that he had found Elena.

Klaus seems to accept this answer by an act of wilful denial.

Katherine sidles up to Stefan on the couch one day when Klaus is off somewhere manoeuvring his schemes. Stefan immediately moves to sit on the other side of the room, and she follows. Stefan sighs but this time stays put.

“What do you want Katherine?”

“Just to chat, is it so bad of me to ask for some simple company,” Katherine asks.

“No, but that’s never all you’re ask for,” Stefan says softly.

“What about you Stefan? You’re with Klaus after all he has done. He killed my entire family. I don’t dismiss you for that; don’t I deserve the same courtesy.”

“Fine,” Stefan says resignedly, pausing before continuing, “you never told me anything about your family.”

“I had two sisters, they were like little angels; it was sickening,” Katherine says with true fondness.

“And you of course were the little devil,” Stefan says with a laughter-ripe timbre.

“I still miss them,” Katherine whispers. It only helps her plight that her unshed tears are genuine.

“I’m sorry Klaus killed them,” Stefan says sorrowfully.

“I should’ve anticipated it from someone like him. Do you ever miss Elena?” Katherine asks cautiously. She wonders whether Stefan knows that she knows Elena’s alive.

“Sometimes,” Stefan admits.

“I could help you remember her, I mean if you want me to,” Katherine says, keeping her tone slightly unsure and minutely vulnerable.

“Katherine!” Stefan admonishes.

Katherine lets the hard edges of her expression soften into a more Elena-esque position.

“I don’t mean sex Stefan, I mean just to be,” Katherine says, taking his hand with a solemn look in her eyes.

Stefan pulls away almost too urgently, and Katherine hides a wily smile.


***


1958

Stefan is gone. He hadn’t said anything. Klaus tries to calm himself; rationally he knows Stefan probably just forgot to let him know. The niggling voice in his head says otherwise, says Stefan is doing this on purpose; to manipulate him, to make him so crazy he’s like clay in Stefan’s hand. It seems more plausible the more the thought races around in his head.

Stefan enters with his cheekbones laughter high. It enrages Klaus all the more. Before he even thinks, Klaus throws Stefan up against the wall; driving a stake through his stomach.

“Klaus,” Stefan says in a dull monotone, hearing it brings the realisation of what he has just done.
Fury is replaced by cold, hard fear. He doesn’t accept others’ mistakes, and doesn’t expect his own mistakes to be accepted. Klaus does what he always does; goes on the offensive.

“You’re the one who...”

“Don’t,” Stefan interrupts. Klaus puffs silently.

“Well?” Stefan asks, gesturing expectantly.

“Want me to get you a squirrel?” Klaus asks, secretly relieved, he knows how this will play out.

“That, and an apology too.”

Klaus considers protesting, but picks being unpredictable instead;

“I’m sorry.”

It’s sincere, but probably in the wrong way. Klaus is surprised he gets off so lightly.


***


That one off tumbles them into a series of semi-battles and near misses.

“I’m not doing this with you Klaus; I’m not tolerating us sliding back to how we were, even if it’s only rarely,” Stefan says two months later, when the problems show no sign of abating.

“You should be happy that I’ve done as much as I have Stefan, stop being unreasonable.”

“You’re trying, that’s great, but I’m not waiting around for you to still be making the same excuse in a decade.”

“Then what are you going to do; because I’m not sticking around for a life sentence comprising of your boring speeches.”

“Maybe we should have a reset, take a break for a while, and then start over.”

“Fine,” Klaus snaps curtly, swiftly leaving.


***


Stefan and Klaus come back together three months later all the stronger, and from that point on they flit out of each other’s lives for a few months at a time, and everything runs smoother, and they both feel free to live their own life. Stefan spends a few months in ’62 with Damon, a few months in ’65 with Lexi, spends the second half of ’66 going from friend to friend, and four months in ’69 with his family in Mystic Falls. Stefan attends Harvard in 1970, and insists on having the full Varsity experience- no Originals included- and their summers are spent together, drinking champagne and blood and strawberries.


***


2011

“Doesn’t it bother you that he wandered off and fell in love with someone else?”

“He didn’t love Elena anymore than he loves every bleeding heart,” Klaus scoffs.

“And it doesn’t bother you that he kept her alive? Oh, he hasn’t told you, has he?” Katherine says with a grin.

“So Elena’s alive, it’s irrelevant. Stefan’s still here with me.”

“Yeah, probably to stop you from killing her again.”

Klaus runs his fingers over Katherine’s neck sensually, but it’s a caress tainted with warning.

“One great aspect of being as old as I am, is that I always know when Stefan is lying and when you are manipulating, though you have been sloppy lately; all our fun must have messed up your pretty little brain.”

“There’s hardly a point in subtlety when your denial is so glaringly blatant,” Katherine says, stepping away from menacing fingers, and out of the room.

Stefan holds onto the door, entering as Katherine exits.

“You know I will always choose you,” Stefan tells Klaus. It’s the truth.

“Yeah, I know,” Klaus answers with an easy-going smile.


***


In 1982 Klaus takes a course of action that saves many witches’ lives; of course he reaps plenty out of it himself--he does nothing without a selfish motive--but there were other ways he could have gone about it. Stefan is smart enough to not mention it, Klaus doesn’t mention it either, and a mutual agreement of silence is formed. Alexander apparently doesn’t know of this agreement.

“That was an intriguing strategy on Klaus’s part,” Alexander says, words rife with implications.

“I said nothing to him. We can make peace work for us as well as war,” Stefan replies.

“You know, Stefan, I chose to ally myself with you from the beginning, because I knew that in time you would have greater influence over Klaus than even I,” Alexander says.

“You overestimate me,” Stefan states.

“He has mellowed,” Alexander says, “and he is much friendlier to the staff.”

“He would just as quickly have killed all those people if it gave him the same benefit.”

“True, but still... it is a great responsibility Stefan.”

“I know.”


***


“I used to want to be a doctor,” Stefan says wistfully, as Klaus sits opposite him--drinking from a neurosurgeon.


“That’s not so crazy; it seems like a nightmare now, but give your body a couple of centuries to dial down the insanity of the urges, and, with the access to blood, it would be the best job in the world,” Klaus tells him.

“It wouldn’t be like I dreamed it would,” Stefan says, sipping distastefully from a mug of pigeon blood, forming a mental note to make a trip to get some deer, or even a rabbit.

“No your dreams would’ve been ridiculous numbers of women dying of childbirth, and children dying of now easily curable ailments.”

“I wanted to live a life, raise kids, and grow old.”

“But then you wouldn’t have the delight of my company,” Klaus says, gleefully beaming.

“True, there’s always a good side.”

“When I find Katerina I’ll torture her for you.”

“How does that differ from the plan you already have?”

“Not much. You can join in if you want.”


***


“It’s a new millennium, we should celebrate,” Stefan announces, insisting on dragging Klaus to all his favourite places around the world.

“How long before the blood of all the people you’ve killed drowns out your sentimentality?” Klaus quips.

“I know; it’s not your first, and it won’t be your last. But it’s an excuse to party.”

And so they end up spending December 31st 1999 in London.


***


2008

“It’s conclusive, there is a human doppelganger out there somewhere at this very moment,” Ida says, suppressed exhilaration still clear in her voice.

“Get our people following every lead there is,” Klaus orders, staying oddly detached.


“Well, aren’t you going to help?” Klaus asks Stefan, seeing him make no move.

“I’m sure all the trackers you have can handle it Klaus,” he replies.

“Except they haven’t actually seen a doppelganger in the flesh.”

“I have to agree with Stefan,” Cora says, “I would bet anyone could find her before him.”

“Oh, fine, proving that Cora’s an idiot never gets old. But when I win I want you to do a dance with a funny hat,” Stefan tells her.

“When I win, you get to spend a day dressed as a donkey’s bottom,” Cora replies.


***


2011

There was an irony Klaus was sure Katerina wasn’t aware of. He had almost forgotten her completely, caring little for any further revenge, and then there was Stefan. Stefan hated her in a way he would never hate Klaus, and Klaus just couldn’t tolerate that.

“Don’t think for one moment that I don’t know exactly what you’re up to,” Klaus says.

“I’m just highlighting an issue I feel you and Stefan should deal with. If you leave it to fester, it will turn ugly.”

“The issue here, Katerina, is that the last time someone came between Stefan and me, it resulted with us spending twenty years apart; and that’s a time I don’t plan on repeating,” Klaus says faux demurely.

He swings his hand at Katherine’s neck, decapitating her in one swift blow.


***


2009

Stefan hovers at the edges of Mystic Falls, forgoing his usual check-in with Zach; it’s best that his family don’t know he’s here. His search has brought him here. He watches, and listens, and waits. It’s not long before he finds out there’s going to be a party and decides it would only be prudent to attend.


Stefan stands in a corner, listening intently and mainly staring at the back of heads. He’s on the lookout for dark curls, so he almost misses her. The sharp clink of a beer bottle against a radiator draws his gaze, and he catches her profile just as her hand slides drunkenly around the doorframe. He follows, simultaneously unsure he saw anything, and sure she’s Katherine despite knowing he’s there to find her very human twin.


She stumbles towards a car, door opening loosely in her drink clumsy hand, and climbing into the back. Definitely not Katherine. Stefan zooms behind the car with little effort; he is right behind it when it swan-dives into the water. His first thought is to save the doppelganger, so the man’s insistence that he does so hardly matters. It takes some manoeuvring, but Stefan eventually pulls not-Katherine out of the car and water, laying her unconscious form out on the road. She’s alive and breathing.


Stefan takes out his cell phone, scrolling to ‘n’ where Klaus’s number lies, and hits call. As it rings, he gazes at her. She looks so innocent, so vulnerable. He feels almost like he’s seventeen again, free of the darkness that he now carries, and thinks this is the girl he once thought Katherine was. The idea of hurting her is suddenly more than he can bear, but bear it he must; he’s not a guy who betrays someone he cares about for the sake of a stranger.


“Stefan, any information?” Klaus answers, all business.

Words topple from Stefan’s mouth almost unbidden.

“No, I’m just checking in, there’s nothing here.”



Comments:


Silvia Kundera
silviakundera at 2011-10-06 05:41 (UTC) (Link)
oh man, after 3x3 this is absolutely a story I wanted to read. Nicely done. Thank you for this!
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2011-10-06 05:46 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it :)
bones_of_you at 2011-10-07 18:22 (UTC) (Link)
Oh... oh my god. There are no words for how amazing and epic and beautiful this is. I'm going to need to come back later when my brain is able to think beyond, "DLITJHTLIHNLIFSLFIJAKBDKDFNALIJALIFJKFNSDF" so that I can wax poetic about how wonderful this fic is.

Just... ugh, this is perfection.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2011-10-07 18:48 (UTC) (Link)
Oh Wow, such a lovely comment, thank you so much :). I'm so happy you found it epic and beautiful :D.
akillia555
akillia555 at 2011-10-14 22:53 (UTC) (Link)
I love this fic. Thank you. Their relationship portrayed just the way I love, without fluff or tears, but still so emotionally.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2011-10-15 06:57 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, I'm so glad you loved the way I portrayed their relationship; that was what I was going for :D.
(Deleted comment)
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2011-10-16 07:41 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, I'm so pleased you found it fantastic :)
Tenshinrtaiga
tenshinrtaiga at 2012-01-04 06:16 (UTC) (Link)
...Why is Klaus' name under 'n' in Stefan's phone?

And while I'm glad Elena didn't come between Klaus and Stefan, why did he lie in the end? Jeez, now that's gonna bug me...

And of course, lastly, but most importantly... Did Cora do a dance in a funny hat?

Anyway, great fic! I absolutely loved it :)
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2012-01-04 09:26 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, I'm so glad you loved it :)

It's under n for Niklaus (or Nick), it's a nod to the episode 3.03, which I didn't see until I was pretty much writing the ending. He lied in the end maybe because he couldn't bear the idea of Elena being hurt, even though his love for Klaus wins out; it's sort of one of those things left open for interpretation. And also because if he hadn't lied Klaus would've been there at the beginning on season one. :)

Lol, I think she did do the dance, maybe I should write a Cora does a dance in funny hat spin off :D
Tenshinrtaiga
tenshinrtaiga at 2012-01-04 10:47 (UTC) (Link)
Ohhh! Yeah, I think of Klaus as Nik and Niklaus all the time. No idea why that didn't occur to me. Duh!

And yes, I can see how his decision would need to fit canon, it just felt wrong given how he acted the entire fic, but I understand that you had to make the puzzle pieces fit somehow.

Haha, I would love a sequel in which we get to see Cora dance, but also where we find out what happens next. I mean, why does Damon and Elena think Stefan's gone? Did they ever find out about his relationship with Klaus? And what about Klaus' master hybrid race? I feel like this could make the start of a really great series - though hopefully a less angsty one. Slave!Stefan (and Klaus with Slave!Stefan) was so sad :(

Edited at 2012-01-04 10:47 am (UTC)
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2012-01-04 13:24 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, it's lovely to hear that it has the potential for a series :).

I'm definitely considering a sequel, my main issue would be whether it would be as good as this because I wouldn't want it connected to this fic if it wasn't. I guess I'll just start writing and see what I come up with. It would probably deal with Damon and Elena finding them.

The Hybrids would be an interesting idea for me to work with, because I don't think Klaus in this verse would want the same things from his hybrids (like world domination) after Stefan's influence, so I would have to come up with another agenda that was still just as wicked but in-keeping with this verse's Klaus personality. Oh no, you've got me thinking now :).
Tenshinrtaiga
tenshinrtaiga at 2012-01-05 03:28 (UTC) (Link)
Always happy to get those brain juices flowing ;) As for what Klaus wants, yes, I suppose world domination probably wouldn't be on the list. But maybe not wanting to be the only hybrid? Maybe he wants to create a species? On the show, the sired thing really bugged me because it seemed like what Klaus wanted was to be accepted and to have family and he can't really have that if he controls everything his hybrids do. Also, have you thought about Klaus' real family? Like Rebekah and Elijah? How do they fit into the story now?

As for it being good enough, I feel like you shouldn't try and compare the sequel to this fic. I mean, obviously, they're going to be related, but writing styles change, people get better, they want to focus on different aspects, ideas crop up. Trying to conform what you're writing now with what you already wrote hinders that. Or at least that's what I think. So, yeah, definitely don't worry about whether your sequel will be "good enough".
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