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stargate, DanielJackson

Week 12, Title: Remember what we did for fun?

Posted on 2014.06.19 at 18:56

Mother has been cooking; stray mustard seeds have fallen on the floor. I pick one up in my little hand, gazing in wonder at the tiny black round thing, and make up stories about where it’s from; this strange circular being.


I run around in red checked school uniform.

I make up stories with my Barbie doll and set up a library on the stairs for stories that don’t exist yet. I read alone, watching the other children play ‘red rover’.

I carry around a pad of yellow A5 paper and draw until I fill it.


I wear a Navy blue uniform and don’t run around anymore.

We sit in English class, bored. This isn’t like last term when we stood up reading out the lines of Othello to the class (to each other), feeling like rock stars even though the other kids thought we were nerds. This term’s text is dull and good in technicality only. We pass a piece of crumpled lined paper back and forth and the others think we’re passing notes. Your lines of neatly curled large blue letters sitting next to my scraggly sharp black ones.

We’re writing a story. It’s amusing to us; our special brand of misbehaviour. English lessons are for writing after all aren’t they.

We argue quietly about the colour of our heroine’s eyes before deciding they change to blue when she uses her telekinetic powers.

At home I open a pad of A3 paper and paint with the acrylics you bought me.

We scrounge through the closet, leaving a haphazard pile of board games on the floor. I ask you how you’re managing to cheat at ‘pick up sticks’, you give me an incredulous pout and then we both burst into boisterous laughter.


I sit at our table wearing jeans and a green t-shirt, considering the cards in my hand; I think you have the seven of hearts.

We talk about how I’ll write a novel and you’ll make it into a film. I tell you I’m writing about two men who love each other.

I don’t make art anymore; I’m too old to draw as badly as I do.


I’m not wearing black but you are. You rub your hand against my back.

I don’t play games anymore, I don’t leave the house either, nothing seems important.

I tell you I’m writing lots and lots of stories about vampires who are in denial. I don’t tell you about the last part though; I don’t realise they’re in denial until much later.


I swivel on my desk chair, pushing aside formal trousers to itch black socks, and absently fidgeting with my blouse.

I hold my phone under the table, texting you about this week’s prompt.


bleodswean at 2014-06-19 18:22 (UTC) (Link)
I like this, J. It's sad. And seems to be very much about letting go of childhood....fun?
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-19 18:25 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, yeah that was what I was going for, the things we let go of as we grow/ letting go of our childhood itself :).
kehlen at 2014-06-19 19:36 (UTC) (Link)
I hope it was the same person you could let go of childhood together with.

It is sad, and I enjoyed reading this.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-19 19:39 (UTC) (Link)
I'm still in contact with a few people I went to school with, so yeah kinda...

Thank you, glad you enjoyed :)
catwomon at 2014-06-19 22:01 (UTC) (Link)
Interesting. It is a bit disturbing, and I want there to be more.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-20 05:46 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks :)
livejournal at 2014-06-20 06:26 (UTC) (Link)

LJ Idol Week 12: Recommendations!

User kickthehobbit referenced to your post from LJ Idol Week 12: Recommendations! saying: [...] talks about writing and growing up [...]
ecosopher at 2014-06-20 12:15 (UTC) (Link)
I love the idea of having long friendships like this. I don't have any contact with those I went to school with, and in some ways, that's sad.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-20 12:17 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks :)

Well, I think it's about finding the right people, maybe you'll have really long friendships with the people you know now.
Bridget Ilene Delaney
kagomeshuko at 2014-06-21 01:52 (UTC) (Link)
While I've grown, I'm also a kid at heart, so I've never fully let go of childhood. I think it is important to keep that childhood fun and imagine alive as well as grow up at the same time.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-21 05:47 (UTC) (Link)
Oh yeah, definitely :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus at 2014-06-21 04:05 (UTC) (Link)
I liked these moments over time, and these glimpses of the need to create, in whatever form, as you grow older.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-21 05:46 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked it :)
Teo Says
eternal_ot at 2014-06-21 15:00 (UTC) (Link)
"I don’t make art anymore; I’m too old to draw as badly as I do." I feel that about myself..:P
I liked this growing up and realization associated with it...you captured it well. The idea of passing chits to write a story was awesome..:) Good work once again!
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-21 15:03 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked it :)

Art is hard :P
onda_bianca at 2014-06-21 16:02 (UTC) (Link)
I enjoyed seeing the progression and stages of growing up. It had a sad tone to it all. I envisioned the person you were writing to be the same person.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-21 16:09 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you enjoyed the progression :).

Yeah, that's how I intended it to be. I wrote it with me and one of my friends in mind, but also included stuff that happened with other friends to fit the effect I was going for.
Laura, aka "Ro Arwen"
roina_arwen at 2014-06-21 21:15 (UTC) (Link)
Interesting expression of growth and change.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-22 05:47 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you found it interesting :)
tonithegreat at 2014-06-23 04:55 (UTC) (Link)
I don’t make art anymore; I’m too old to draw as badly as I do. This line hit home for me, too. I keep drawing, but I certainly feel that way about it sometimes. This was lovely and sad and haunting.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-23 07:37 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you found it lovely :)

Well it's good you keep drawing, it's sometimes too easy to become discouraged.
fodschwazzle at 2014-06-23 17:15 (UTC) (Link)
Great segmentation. You have a way of zeroing in on a single item at a time that, to read, feels like I'm looking at a life through one of those Viewmasters with different slides from the 80s and only one thing in each slide is in color. Lovely.
swirlsofblue at 2014-06-23 17:22 (UTC) (Link)
Wow, thank you so much, it's lovely to hear it had that effect :)
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