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stargate, DanielJackson

Last Chance Idol: Week one: Title: Eve

Posted on 2014.09.30 at 20:52
Tags: ,

Eve sits on the grassy knoll, a too-ripe pear betwixt her fingers- every bite soft and sweet, with juice running down her wrist. Scales glint, reflecting sunlight in her periphery, and she smiles internally at the thought of the serpent assuming she’s unaware of his presence. She looks at the trees around her, filled with oranges, peaches, bananas, mangoes and kiwis and of course the forbidden tree; red apples shining in their ordinary way. Even after all these centuries she still appreciates the awe and resplendence of this place, but her children have grown, and it is time for a change.   

She tilts her head to the sky, sighing up into the air; there will be regret, but sometimes regret is necessary.

“I’ve always known you were there. Why must you hide?” Eve questions, not turning to the serpent.

The snake slithers towards her and the air encompassing him seems to bleed for a moment as he transforms into a tall, dark-haired man. Said man offers Eve a charming smile before stating,
“Because I’m not supposed to be here.”

“Then why are you here?” Eve asks.

“I like to be contrary and rebellious.”

“It seems a paltry rebellion to come here whilst pretending you’re not. What is it that you truly seek?”

“To watch. You humans are intriguing.” The man answers.

Eve smiles. “You’re quite intriguing also.”

The man’s smile widens and he takes her hand to lay a kiss upon it before speaking, “You may call me Lucifer.”


By unspoken agreement they always sit beside one another, with an Adam-shaped space between them, not gazing at each other but rather looking straight forward into the beautiful world they wish to forsake.

“Adam and I were made for each other,” Eve says, teeth then sinking into the flesh of a mango.

“It is a wretched state.”

“Indeed. I need to love him.” She holds the seed in her fist, wishes to squeeze it into oblivion.

“You do? Since when have you the need for obedience?”

“It is not for the sake of obedience. It is for who he is and who I must be. He is innocent, guileless, and lacks cunning, he had no need to learn or grow and thus hasn’t. And given that this world has allowed him to be none other than who he is, how can I not love him? It would be as though I deem him less of a person; does an idiot not have the same right to love?”

“It speaks of nothing. All who deserve love need not necessarily receive it. If you wish to exist beyond your imposed limitations you must understand this first.”

“Show me what happens if I eat the apple.”

“No,” Lucifer replies.


They begin finding time for each other at every sunrise, at times spending days spinning yarns, philosophising about a world they have not experienced. About a state of being they’re not supposed to know of. Many moons pass and Eve feels a burgeoning understanding. She knows better.


“Neither of us are what we’re supposed to be,” Eve states one day.

“Our father cherishes our differences and yet casts us aside for the same,” Lucifer answers.

“Our father is too occupied with being our father, he must realise his children have grown.”

Eve takes his hand, entwines their fingers; it’s not a plea. “Show me what happens if I eat the apple.”

“Are you certain?” Lucifer strokes his thumb over a knuckle.



The garden dulls- tips over, and flows with pain, hunger and despair. Eve clutches her chest, eyes squinting, panic overwhelming her breaths at these new dark sensations. Her knees buckle, palms scrape raw on the ground. She shakes off Lucifer’s hand and his offer to return her home and walks across the world instead. She was wrong, so wrong, she didn’t understand at all, but she will.


She ponders what to do. Lucifer only tells her she must make the decision herself and leaves. So she speaks to Adam instead, tells him everything. She wonders whether Adam will accuse the serpent of bewitching her but of course he doesn’t, he would never think of it; he has so much faith and trust and naiveté.

Adam stares for what seems a small eternity before saying, “But we have everything here we could ever have want or need of.”

Eve speaks wild and passionate, trying to make him see, “That’s exactly the point; we are not allowed to try! We have not the chance to make choices and tough decisions; to help each other and learn and grow and live! To be something other than one simply being content to exist! There’s so much we could do, so much we could accomplish. This place isn’t ours and we are barely ourselves; it’s a constructed safe haven, and our father is too afraid to let us go.”

Adam looks at her with an infuriatingly patient expression.

“But this pain sounds horrible. You would inflict it on all who come after us?”

“It is horrible, entirely so. But it is also glorious. Would you rather inflict this place on them all, a world where nothing can ever happen, nothing can ever change.”


Lucifer returns to her on that last day and whispers, “You shouldn’t.”

Eve, apple heavy in her hand, speaks solemnly, “I must.”


theun4givables at 2014-09-30 22:33 (UTC) (Link)
I am so glad you're doing second chance. :) I would have missed your writing!
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-01 05:56 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you :)
medleymisty at 2014-10-01 02:01 (UTC) (Link)
This is interesting. I like the bits about Adam not needing to grow and yet still being deserving of love - I've had to grow, and I can definitely lack understanding and empathy for people who haven't had to, and I struggle with that lack of empathy. So that was an interesting perspective.

swirlsofblue at 2014-10-01 05:57 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you found it interesting :).

Yeah, I've struggled with understanding people too.
crisp_sobriety at 2014-10-01 07:26 (UTC) (Link)
I'm so glad to see you back!

Great work on this story. Have you read Paradise Lost? I ask because it's a very similar characterization of Adam, but less so of Eve. Your Eve has far more agency and resolve. I like it!
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-01 14:31 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, that's lovely to hear :).

I haven't read it, but I keep meaning to. Glad you liked Eve's agency :).
meridian_rose at 2014-10-01 11:01 (UTC) (Link)
I like it, the way it's more the "knowledge is precious and worth sacrifice" school of thought than "knowledge is sinful and deserving of punishment" that is used to denigrate Eve for her choice :)
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-01 14:32 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked it :)
Teo Says
eternal_ot at 2014-10-01 12:47 (UTC) (Link)
Wow! Loved this take..great concept..Kudos!!
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-01 14:38 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you liked the concept :)
morettaallstar at 2014-10-01 20:26 (UTC) (Link)
Ah, beautiful! A lot more somber than I was expecting, but then again we've had that discussion - we always end up in the angst, don't we? XD

Also, really enjoyed the use of 'betwixt'. I don't know why, but I did.

Also also, while I'm disappointed on your behalf for the results of Idol, I'm glad we're doing this one together!
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-02 05:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you found it beautiful. Ah, yes we do have that habit ;D.

I know what you mean, it's just one of those words, I like to say it out loud, betwixt.

That's sweet, well I had to be voted out at some point. And yeah, me too, it's so awesome we get to do this together, woot!
bleodswean at 2014-10-01 22:08 (UTC) (Link)
Very, very nice! I adore Adam&Eve stories and you really have accomplished a lot with your exploration! I like your Eve, I like her boldness with Lucifer. The decision making....

A strong piece of writing!
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-02 05:48 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you liked this exploration and Eve :)
kickthehobbit at 2014-10-02 04:24 (UTC) (Link)
This is really powerful—well done!
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-02 05:48 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked it :)
uncawes at 2014-10-02 09:50 (UTC) (Link)
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-02 14:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you :)
n3m3sis43 at 2014-10-02 10:18 (UTC) (Link)
I love this so much. An intentional Eve instead of a silly, easily led one. And Lucifer, whether or not his intentions are good... he should be just like that.

Very glad you're doing Last Chance. You were freaking robbed in that last vote, IMO. You are one of my favorites. :)
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-02 14:46 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you liked intentional Eve :).

Wow, it's so amazing to hear that, especially as you're one of my favourites *Hugs* Thank you :).
itsjustc at 2014-10-02 23:33 (UTC) (Link)
I Loved your take on this prompt. It was a great read.
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-03 05:04 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked my take :)
alycewilson at 2014-10-04 10:39 (UTC) (Link)
An intriguing take on the Genesis story.
swirlsofblue at 2014-10-04 10:41 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you found it intriguing :)
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