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stargate, DanielJackson

Week 7, Title: Of Gods and Monsters

Posted on 2016.01.29 at 21:46
Tags: ,
She watches her former charges stand in a line, their woman-child bodies stretching upwards, waiting to see who will be chosen. Some look at the floor, some straight ahead, some of their heads tilt down with their gaze straying towards him. One turns to her, she holds the gaze; she owes the girl this much. It’s said that the one who stands before them, eyeing these offerings, is a God. Some of the girls are believers and some are not; she’s still unsure which is best for them. Her chest aches from weariness and her eyes sting from too much time. Her joints groan against each other and her fingers, resting on her walking stick, throb.

The audience are indifferent. They have been raised with this yearly ritual. It is separate to them, doesn’t touch them, they are inured. She remembers long ago when they would look upon her with disgust and fear and misses those days; the days when the younglings they gave up still affected them.

For decades she raised these children to give them away.

The one making his choice may be a God, or he may not be. But she knows one thing for certain: he is a Devil too.


She remembers the beginning. There was a demon haunting their village, leaving bloodied corpses in its wake.

The first time the self-named God made his offer they all balked at the insanity. Who would give up their children for an idle promise of safety?

But none could even touch the demon, powerful as it was. And it left more bodies, seeding the village with fear, and the offers continued on. Until, eventually, they tiredly began to negotiate.

Still, no one would give up their children.

She found a solution.

They made a deal with the God and the demon was defeated.

She gathered together every foundling child, and raised them away from the rest of the village, thus letting everyone forget. She always knew it was wrong. She always knew she had to do it. She couldn’t leave this soul-rending job to someone else.

She’s pulled back to the present by Unika being chosen. The girl looks him right in the eye. She knows every one of the girls’ beliefs, what they think of this, whether they want this. But not Unika, this one has always been a closed book. She thinks the girl may just surprise him.

She prays for her.


They are alone, sitting across from each other. He does enjoy the strong, assured ones, especially those without bluster. The girl, Unika, is still staring, but now smiling slightly. He looks forward to taking her apart.

“And what is so amusing,” he asks, grinning.

“That you forget me so quickly.”

“Well, humans are forgettable. We’ve met before I take it.”

Her smile is smug, she stands and walks towards him, “A long time ago.”  

He scoffs, “You are far too young to understand long ago.”

She moves to straddle him and grins, “I’m a lot older than I look. Did you think you would be rid of me so easily?”

He laughs. “Oh, this is delightful. You want me to believe you are that demon creature, to what end, that we might find comradery? I would know if she had possessed you.”

“That’s exactly why I possessed no one. I am this girl. I grew from a babe, this is my flesh.”

Eyes narrow, he leans away. “That is not possible.”

She runs her fingers through his hair before grasping a fistful, “Are you really so surprised? These humans are forever making deals to rid themselves of their demons.”

He realises he cannot move as her mouth opens wide, and wider, and wider still, a hundred thin sharp teeth gleam as they close in.

She bites off his head.  


her brain is crowded and tastes like sex!
thistle_verse at 2016-01-30 01:55 (UTC) (Link)
Oh! I love the ending! The premise is really intriguing, a great twist on the chosen sacrifice idea. But I really *love* the idea of the demon allowing itself to grow as this girl and then surprising the God figure. I'd love to read a longer version of this, too!
swirlsofblue at 2016-01-30 08:23 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you liked it :).

Teo Says
eternal_ot at 2016-01-30 13:29 (UTC) (Link)
Wow! That was some twist! Enjoyed reading this. Fascinating!
swirlsofblue at 2016-01-30 14:08 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you enjoyed :).
whipchick at 2016-01-30 16:46 (UTC) (Link)
You made me so glad she got him! Nice use of the different POV's, too.
swirlsofblue at 2016-01-30 19:05 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked the different POVs :).
bleodswean at 2016-01-30 17:05 (UTC) (Link)
EXCELLENT!!! A wonderful feminist tract on female sacrifice! Great surprise ending and I think you could coax even more out of this, J!
swirlsofblue at 2016-01-30 19:06 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked that ending :).

I was planning on making it longer, I might do a longer re-write at some point.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus at 2016-01-30 19:38 (UTC) (Link)
There is such a wonderful complexity to this dark tale.

He looks forward to taking her apart.
The woman who raises the foundlings is right, then. The self-made god is also evil. It is a thin line, really, when what makes you a god is merely power.

What a terrible and practical solution, to give away the girls who belong to no one, though it also relieves the villagers of having to look for a better solution.

That the demon was clever enough to hide herself in a real girl for a time (and demons are so terribly clever) was a wonderful twist.

I found myself rooting for her, simply because neither of them was good but the man-god was smug and pretended that he was not also evil.
swirlsofblue at 2016-02-01 15:48 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed its complexity :).

Yep, power and perceptions. Also he wanted people as payment, so that's never a good start.

Glad you liked that twist :).

I did hope people would root for her. Now there's just the worry of what she does next ;).
Raised by Wolves
sinnamongirl at 2016-01-31 22:14 (UTC) (Link)
Wonderful! I do love the ending, and the foundlings raised away from the village is a good twist on the sacrifice idea.
swirlsofblue at 2016-02-01 15:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked the ending :)
dmousey at 2016-02-01 15:10 (UTC) (Link)
Well now, that's one way to end a problem! I liked this it was a good read! Only wish it was a wee bit longer. Peace and thanks for penning! ~~~D
swirlsofblue at 2016-02-01 15:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked it :)
dee_aar2 at 2016-02-01 18:01 (UTC) (Link)
Whoa ... that was quite an ending !!!! Unika was actually unique to be able to surprise him !!! Its tragic when such blind beliefs control lives. Giving up children for idle promise of self safety. But such similar customs do exist in remote villages in our part of the world, where appeasement of Gods is necessary to get a boon.
swirlsofblue at 2016-02-01 18:47 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked the ending :).

It's very sad that these things continue to happen.
prog_schlock at 2016-02-01 19:55 (UTC) (Link)
Ah, what I love here is the implied next part of the story - that having taken care of the "god," the demon will once again set its sights on the village, presumably with renewed vigor. This is going to sound insane, but there's a whole metaphor here for what's going on in Flint - a government that chooses to sacrifice some of its people to a false god (money in this case) and the choice comes back to haunt everyone. I hope there's a demon of sorts after that whole lot of politicians, too...

Anyhow, great piece.

This piece made me think of my favorite insect. Here's a song about that insect.

swirlsofblue at 2016-02-01 20:14 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked the implied, what's next, I was hoping that would come out well :).
misfitmanor at 2016-02-01 22:08 (UTC) (Link)
Both monsters, one masquerading as a God... Now wondering if this supernatural human hybrid will play the demon or the idol. Intriguing.

swirlsofblue at 2016-02-02 17:57 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you found it intriguing :)
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