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stargate, DanielJackson

Week 5, Title: Safe

Posted on 2017.01.15 at 20:26
Tags: ,
Colt bears the stares. The hatred and fear of his people stings, weighs him down. Their jittery broken pleas shake him. He knows it has to be this way. To keep them all safe. He shields himself with a face of nonchalance as another is dragged out to be killed, even as he twists the fates, casts his illusions, changes it all.

His mind worries at the edges of the sanctuary as he lets the new guy in. He fidgets at his illusions, checking every spot, over and over. To any who approaches the place is an empty shell. Only he knows it’s a place their dead walk. He has strong connections but this is the one thing that must remain hidden from them all. One misstep, one moment and it will all come tumbling down.

The collar interferes with his powers and he’s afraid, afraid they’ll stop for just a moment and all will be revealed. He goes over the illusion layers, one by one. Checks and checks and checks again.

They will never know what he does for them. It’s too risky; any telepath could pluck it right from their minds. He can’t really rest; he needs to hold the illusions even in his sleep.

He’s so tired.

He holds their ire and hatred close, his necessary scars. Selfishly longs for just one smile.

But he needs to keep them safe.

*

Then Ridian comes to his door. This man reminds him of the person he once was, before it all. So determined, so stubborn. He watches from the shadows as the other tries to access his powers despite the collar, even though everyone says it’s impossible. He wants to reach out to this man.

He shouldn’t. It’s reckless. Stupid, puts them all in danger. But he’s been treading this water too long.

He grasps at this chance with foolish desperation, careful to pretend he’s as in control as ever. The other is suspicious at first but determined to learn. Colt enjoys helping him, more than he should. Hope is growing inside him, he tries to force it down; this could all go so wrong. Ridian is too head strong, too impulsive, too keen to run into the fight with no care for the long term.

They drink and they talk and he says too much. Anything really is too much. And Ridian has far too much insight.

*

Time dangles like a hook, dragging him in. Ridian’s gaining use of his powers. Colt is proud but terrified. It’s not only about the cause. He’s afraid Ridian will leave and he’ll be alone again.

Then the moment comes. One of the girls is to be taken away and Colt as always makes it seem as though she is. While spiriting her away to the unknown shell.
He’s filled with a sudden yearning; to let Ridian see the truth. It’s unsafe, too risky, too selfish giving him this same burden. This same ever-present fear. But Colt can’t do it alone anymore. Is it so much to ask to have just one friend to share it all with?

*

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. It was such a stupid thing to do. He knows, almost wants to keen at the unfairness of it when he sees Ridian’s face, hurt, betrayed, angry. Then it’s clear Ridian has misunderstood, thinks he saw the lie not truth, and Colt explains but the other is still angry and asks why. Colt’s words are foolish, the uncontrolled spillage of a desperate man;

“Because you’re my friend!”

But of course it’s too much to ask. No one should have to live this façade. It’s his own burden and selfish to expect anyone to willingly take it on. But then Ridian is saying okay, is saying they will fight together. Colt can feel himself filling with joy and relief and almost wants to cry.

“Can you tell me where they all are?”

But he’s also scared.

If Ridian knows then someone else might find out. If Ridian knows he’ll be in danger. If Ridian knows he might want to change things, begin a more combative movement. He’s become too unguarded with his friend.

Ridian says, “You can’t let fear rule you.”

And Colt knows it’s true. He signed up for this. He suspects they both need it. He takes a breath.

“I’ll show you.”

Comments:


rayaso
rayaso at 2017-01-16 21:24 (UTC) (Link)
Well done -- once again. I very much enjoyed this look inside Colt's mind. You have done a great job writing this series.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-17 17:06 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you enjoyed it :)
mamas_minion
mamas_minion at 2017-01-17 01:26 (UTC) (Link)
I am really loving this world and these characters. I am glad Colt is not as cold and uncaring as it seemed her was. I am eagerly waiting for the next installment.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-17 17:07 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad to hear it left you waiting for more.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus at 2017-01-17 07:55 (UTC) (Link)
We've only seen this world from Ridian's POV before, so it's interesting to see Colt's side, and realize just how long the hiding of the "dead" has gone on, and now much work and stress that is. No wonder he's itching to tell someone, and maybe get a little help-- at least, emotional support if not someone else's powers involved in keeping up the illusions.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-17 17:09 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked the change in pov :).

Oh yeah, he's in much more need of emotional support than power support.
kick_galvanic, zagzagael, skull_theatre
bleodswean at 2017-01-17 13:44 (UTC) (Link)
Oooh, another perspective! I liked this glimpse into the complexities of Colt's situation and his thoughts. Good use of the prompt to show his fear.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-17 17:09 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked Colt's thoughts :)
Teo Says
eternal_ot at 2017-01-18 12:42 (UTC) (Link)
This works as a stand alone piece for me. I may have missed the earlier installments, will catch up on them soon. A nice take!
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-18 17:18 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, I've been trying to make sure they all work as stand alones, so glad this worked without the context of the other pieces.
dee_aar2
dee_aar2 at 2017-01-18 22:36 (UTC) (Link)
I haven't yet met Colt or Ridian before ... and that seems to be a bit shameful.

But this works as a stand alone piece for me and loved Colt's POv.

Well Done.
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-19 17:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad it worked for you :)
Jen
my_name_is_jenn at 2017-01-19 00:24 (UTC) (Link)
Ohhh, nicely done. :)
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-19 17:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you :)
darkdreams1222
dreamsofspike at 2017-01-26 13:26 (UTC) (Link)
Oh I love this... this insight into Colt's mind/character was perfectly timed. You've given us enough to intrigue us thus far, to make us WANT to know him, and in this one you used his POV to rip our hearts right out <3 <3 <3 Beautifully done :)
swirlsofblue
swirlsofblue at 2017-01-26 19:57 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you liked his POV :)
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