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stargate, DanielJackson

Week 7, Title: I'm from a mother...

Posted on 2017.01.31 at 20:36
Tags: , ,
I’m from a mother who hugged me every night before bed,
I’m from a mother who waved a knife at me and threatened to cut me to pieces,
I’m from a father who quit smoking when I was one,
I’m from a father who died of lung cancer when I was twenty three.

I’m from aloneness, watching the other kids play, daydreaming.

I’m from a mother who had endless faith in me heedless of how far I fell,
I’m from a mother who threatened to kill herself if I didn’t do what she wanted,
I’m from a father who would always welcome me home no matter what,
I’m from a father who expressed disgust at non-heterosexuals even on his death bed,
I’m from a father who will never know I’m bi.

I’m from isolation, dreading the rejections in group activities, and dreading the grudging pitying acceptances more.

I’m from a mother who worked hard at a factory seven days a week to make ends meet,
I’m from a mother who would recoil at the notion that she’s working class,
I’m from a father who let me figure things out for myself,
I’m from a father who gave up trying.

I’m from those kids who followed me home to beat me up.

I’m from parents who never got as far as they thought they should,
I’m from parents who carried on anyway,
I’m from parents who sacrificed holidays and outings and the chance of another marriage (a happy one) for me,
I’m from parents who lived in the shadows of their despair,
I’m from parents who made sure I had everything I ever needed regardless.

I’m from the strongest of friendships, of nerd pride and summer days and Ouija boards.

I’m from parents who struggled on, who worked their hardest, even as their own minds turned against them,
I’m from family and friends and teachers and co-workers and neighbours and counsellors and strangers,
I’m from contradictions,  
I’m from people. I’m from humans. I’m from life.


bleodswean at 2017-01-31 20:52 (UTC) (Link)
*HUGS* Oh, J!!! This is so complex an opening of your heart. Your cadence is perfect, the this-then-that approach works...but it's so painful and so very true and recognizable.

swirlsofblue at 2017-02-01 17:16 (UTC) (Link)
*Hugs back* Thank you, so glad you liked my approach :).

There's something to be said for opening your heart.
jake67jake at 2017-01-31 21:36 (UTC) (Link)
Wow... very nice, in such a painfilled way.

Good job.
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-01 17:16 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked it :)
kajel at 2017-02-01 03:15 (UTC) (Link)
This was fabulous. I really like how you put this together. Those last lines really brought it all home.
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-01 17:17 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad those last lines worked for you, I was hoping they would :).
morettaallstar at 2017-02-01 20:37 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs you so hard*
Oh my gosh.
This is so powerful. I think it hits especially hard because you've rarely used this format. It's so good.
*hugs you some more*
Just. Wow.
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-02 17:08 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you *Hugs you back*

So glad you found it powerful, thank you :).
adoptedwriter at 2017-02-02 20:54 (UTC) (Link)
Beautiful and painful all in one. Wow!
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-03 17:07 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you found it beautiful :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus at 2017-02-03 21:43 (UTC) (Link)
This mix of contradictions is so much of what life is about. So many things that seem perfect, so many things that truly aren't and that we struggle with, and yet somehow we make it forward, and they shape us along the way.

It was nice finding out all of this "more" about you. :)
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-04 08:19 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you :). Yes, exactly.

Teo Says
eternal_ot at 2017-02-04 11:20 (UTC) (Link)
Heartbreaking and yet beautiful. Well done! Loved the last two lines.
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-04 11:29 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad the last two lines worked for you :)
penpusher at 2017-02-04 23:26 (UTC) (Link)
The most bittersweet bon bon, with a flavor and texture that can't be forgotten. But the theme I think that is trending here is that we aren't from somewhere; we are from someone.
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-05 09:34 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for that lovely description, glad you liked :).
murielle at 2017-02-05 12:08 (UTC) (Link)
I love the rhythm!

"I'm from a..."

I love the truths shared, especially the hard ones.

I love the conclusions reached.

swirlsofblue at 2017-02-05 13:34 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad the rhythm worked for you :)
alycewilson at 2017-02-05 14:52 (UTC) (Link)
I like the format of this, and the contradictions.
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-05 18:10 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you :)
dmousey at 2017-02-05 22:02 (UTC) (Link)
I enjoyed this immensely. Yes, life is full of contradictions. Hugs and peace~~~
swirlsofblue at 2017-02-06 19:47 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, so glad you enjoyed :)
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